thoughts on sleep.

i sleep better when i practice daily. i have better practice's when i sleep more.

is this the cycle?

adam says: if wholesomeness brings happiness then better wholesome living outside of practice makes better practice then happier.so to gauge of what brings happiness is to do what brings forth better practice and to find out if this is true is to see if it is true and try.

is this the cycle? this is the cycle. the cycle is this.

i'm making sleep a priority. so that practice is better. so that life is better. so that practice is better. so that sleep is better. so that life is better.

(no more tattoos for the summer. sleep a priority. eating well a priority. live well. be well. breathe well. i'm feeling really hippy-dippy. night)

3 months, 6 months, 9 months.

adam came back to practice today after being sick... and a moon day.. (glad you're back!)

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we got to have a quick chat on the sofa before i headed to work. and adam always has something profound to say... he said something along the lines of this:

it's interesting how much your practice will change from the first 3 months, then the next 3 months, and so on. (i'm paraphrasing... he obviously said it more gracefully than this.)

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i pondered this all morning.

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my first 3 months of mysore practice: october - december 2008:

doing 5 surya a's and 5 b's was enough to send me packing... i could barely handle it. my practice was all about learning the asana first... so i really had to learn the asana. i had a lot of attention from my teacher. and a lot of repeating the sequence in the beginning because i would always forget a pose... 

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i'm now approaching month 6! oh how things have changed. the surya's! those are cake. i have less attention from teacher. which is fine. but i get adjusted on what is important for that day. i've gone deeper in the the practice and my understanding of the asana has changed. my understanding of why the poses are sequenced the way they are has also changed. my breath is stronger. i'm learning the count (thanks jill-ji for teaching it!) so much improvement. it's almost overwhelming to me how much has changed in only 5 months.

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what has changed for you?

what would you do if you were 25 again?

convo between me and adam this morning:

ad: how was practice?

me: ehhh. bad.

ad: that's good. a bad practice is good for you.

true that. we can't always have good practices. sometimes the hard ones teach us the most.

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on another note, not having a great day. baby vomit and poop galore.

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on another note, what would you do if you were 25 again?

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am i happy being a nanny? sometimes. 

do i want to do it for forever? no.

what would i be doing if i wasn't a nanny? who knows. but i do know that i would be doing yoga 6 days a week. no rushing to work. no skipping led classes on fridays. 

what do i want to do in august when my lease is up? stay in philly? most likely. stay in the apartment alone, sounds good. job wise? ehhhh. i don't know.

i'm having a quarter life crisis almost everyday. i need guidance.