practice. practice. practice.

on the mat today and yesterday. 

monday was just about getting back into the groove. today was fully charged with emotions and energy. is when we are emotional that we need the practice the most? to help focus our minds. to help figure things. i do not know. my body and mind both loved practice today. i gave it 110%. 

i'm enjoying practice with david g. he's setting the bar high, and i like it. i like when it's raised and you try harder to meet the bar, even when you don't meet the bar, it's still amazing when you try. try, try again.

do it and forget it.

i feel like i don't have much else to say. i'm really tired. at work. gonna go to the park and whole foods soon. 

i fought the law and the law won! or...

i fought the mat and the mat won.

i went to practice today. first day back in probably about a week and a half. i got there at 6:15. did my sun salutations with a runny nose and decided i should probably get a tissue after my first B. i got through almost all the foundational asanas and then i felt insanely nauseous. i sat down. i don't know if it was the heat. (the studio was self heated... from the outside heat not even the internal heat. i was sweating after like 5 minutes of being inside.) or that i saw the lady next to me with a nose bleed. (nose bleeds make me feel light headed!) or if it was just the fact that i'm kinda sick, kinda tired and kinda just not used to being on the mat...

so i was sitting. and jill-ji comes over and tells me to finish the foundations and come back tomorrow. i barely got through the foundations. it took me a few minutes to realize what exactly the foundations even were. i felt kind of like i was in a daze. wow. 

i'm glad i went to practice. i'm glad i did what i could. i'm glad i have good teachers who understand what it's like to go through what you go through on the mat.

i guess we will see what tomorrow has in store!

baby at the shala.

this morning, j, pictured above, was at the shala (*disclaimer: normally baby is never there...). he crawled around. talked to himself. ate a cookie. crawled on mats. looked at people. crawled under people during asana. all together it was a riot. we laughed. we laughed out loud. 

it allowed me to not take practice so seriously. but at the same time, it was distracting. for some people, a baby crawling around makes them focus. their gaze focused inward. their breath controlled. their practice strong.

i suffered though. my maternal instincts came out. i didn't want the baby to go to the candles. i didn't want him to get into trouble. i just wanted to cuddle him. i didn't want to practice. i wanted my teacher to tell me to babysit him so i could just cuddle him on the sofa.. but she didn't. i practiced a distracted practice, but it was a practice nonetheless. i got to hang out with the baby for a half an hour after practice and it was lovely. then i babysat him this afternoon. so i got my baby time... 

a focused practice tomorrow is in the cards, for sure.

dropbacks are scary or fear at it's finest.

i've been writing this blog in my head since 7:46 this morning when i rushed down the stairs and ran across the street to catch the bus. 

it's been fairly easy to get up everyday at 5:30 this week. i mean, david is here. so there's major motivation to get to practice on time. today i really don't remember waking up. alarm one goes off at 5:25 and i'm sure i closed my eyes. but around 5:28 i open them and realize next alarm goes off at 5:30 so it's time to get moving.

i did my usual morning activity. 5 minutes on the computer. get dressed. do hair. take out pig. feed pig. grab grub from fridge. catch bus at 6:02 to be at practice by 6:13 or so. i got to the bus at 5:57.. and i waited. and waited. i considered a cab. i saw andrea ride by on her moped. i got sad. and wanted to jump on the back. finally a bus came at 6:06. normally i wouldn't care about a late bus, but david is here. and i have to work at 8 everyday (except yesterday i got to come in at 8:15 yippee!) i get on the bus. i'm a little upset. but there's nothing i can do except just get to y2 and do my practice. i did 5 a's and 4 b's today so i could have the more time for dropbacks at the end. 

i felt kind of rushed through standing.. i slowed down on the floor. i'm working on jumping back and through... i think i'm starting to finally "get it," both mentally and physically. so that is coming along...

david worked on supta kurmasana with me. it's like seriously so intense. i can't control the intensity. but yea.

i'm working on dropbacks. those are scary. for the past two days, david assisted me in every sense of the word. but today, he said, are you doing these alone? and i said i don't know... haha.

he told me to do it and that he would catch me towards the end. so i just did it and let gravity do it's thing. david stayed true to his word and "caught" me before i hit the ground and helped me on my way back up. i'm starting to realize how much you can control these damn dropbacks if you use your hips in the right way.

anyway, they are scary. but i'm trying to get over this fear. i used to be scared to roll around in garbha pindasana. i'm not anymore. i'm still scared of headstand. but i'm getting over that too. slowly slowly.

blog blog blog. about yoga yoga yoga. boring for those who don't do yoga, but for those that do... you get what i'm saying about everything. ok. well off to baby land... 

musings from the mat.

surya namaskara 1: "oooh. this feels funny. i cant bend over. ok, fine, i'll bend my knees in uttanasana."

surya 2: "i'm just gonna keep on bending those knees, i feel like the tin man in the wizard of oz."

surya 3: "after two days of no practice, should it really be this hard to do a chaturanga dandasana?"

surya 4: "oooh. ok, the hamstrings are opening.. still feel like a tin man."

surya 5: "last one... then 5 more."

surya B's: "i'll just keep on stepping back instead of jumping. amanda, you're taking it easy for the first day back. you know, you haven't had a mysore practice since thursday... doesn't mean you didn't practice... but its like you were gone for 5 days."

eventually, my mind quieted. got through my practice. it was hard getting to y2. the ice, the sleet, feeling like i wanted to sleep although i went to bed at 9:40 last night and woke up at 5:40am today.. meaning i got 8 hours. i'm coming down with some kind of sore throat. i think i might take off again tomorrow. i need rest. this nanny job is draining. and the babies spread diseases like wildfire. 

on garbha p. 

rolling is becoming less fearful. and i'm trying to keep my hands on my head when i roll, which is hard to do, but that's what i'm working on. i got all the way around. and my teacher helped me roll up for kukutasana, although i chose to roll back and forth a bit to work on rolling up on my own.

that is all.

a weak week, as jill would say.

sunday: led primary in balto.

monday: moonday and podiatry appt.

tuesday: foot rest day.

wednesday: mysore.

thursday: unknown?

friday: rest day/date with asher at night?

saturday/sunday: foundations first.