walking to-and-fro.

Because of 'Snowmaggedon', I wasn't sure which yoga studios would be opened or closed today. Wakeup Yoga was open. Dhyana and Y2 closed for the morning. Shanti Yoga Shala Open. Those are my options. Well. My bike is encased in snow, yet again. So is my car. With the roads still slushy and snowy, I don't trust myself on a bike or in a car. So I decided my best option was to walk. Shanti Yoga Shala (SYS from now on) is .8 of a mile away from me. I woke up at 8 and checked to see if they were still having Led Primary. They were.

So I bundled up. Put Radiohead on my ipod and made the short journey over to Olde City. I left my apt at 9:03am and arrived at SYS at 9:20am (too early!) I went to Cafe Ole and sipped on some tea to warm up my insides before practice.

Today was the hardest practice I've had in a long time. I mean, I felt pain. Tapas was the name of the game. Internal heat, fire me up. Ah.

It was a good practice, none-the-less.

I stayed for question and answer time with NW.

Re-bundled up. Walked home. and now I'm sipping coffee and eating breakfast with Asher.

What a good morning!!

musings.

So. It's snowing. A LOT! I haven't even taken Sage out for a walk yet because it requires so much and I am just not ready for that commitment (soon soon though..)

Being snowed in can be fun. It can also get me thinking about things that are beyond my reach. Like.. I wish I could walk to Rittenhouse and get some coffee and sit around other human beings. Or... I wish I was close enough to Wakeup Fairmount so that I could practice with guest star teacher Biz. But, alas, I am in Northern Liberties. The closest place I could walk to for fun would be some over priced boutiques and a tattoo shop or beer store. Hmmm. I'm already stocked up on beer.

Anyway, Being snowed in makes me think about things. Like for instance.. yoga. Haha. Obviously. I have an interview of Norman Allen book marked on my favorite links. He fascinates me beyond words. If you've seen the movie, Enlighten UP!, then you will know who I'm talking about. So. I want to go to Hawaii and find Norman Allen. I want to drink his organic coffee and practice yoga with him. Ha. Ok. That's the first thought of the morning.

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I'm also in the mood to redecorate my apartment. I'm thinking a lot about the color yellow and the color grey. Together. Fabulous.

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What else is floating around my head right now.. Oh. TT was cancelled for the weekend. We were supposed to have Sanskrit Level 1 with Manorama.

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I've been thinking about THE practice of yoga. I'm thinking about how the subtle details come so slowly and that sometimes you forget where you started. Let me paint you a picture. I stumbled across Ashtanga yoga by accident. I was experimenting with all kinds of yoga when I lived in Huntington Beach, CA and was doing a work study at Yoga Works. I had tried every kind of yoga they had to offer, but I saved Ashtanga for last. I knew deep down that something magical would happen (maybe? or maybe I was scared.) Anyway. My first practice was a led class. I knew not what was happening, but I did it anyway. No one told me not to. I looked at people to figure out what the hell was happening, but I had fun. I wore a tshirt and some yoga pants that I got at a goodwill. My tshirt was sopping wet and saggy by the end of class. I couldn't do most of the asana, but I tried all of them anyway. Again, I had no one telling me not to do this. I didn't develop a relationship with any teachers during this period of my life. I went to Saturday and Sunday led classes (two different teachers) and that was that. I didn't know what mysore was. I was totally lost.

Cut to Philadelphia. I'm looking for Ashtanga and I find Yoga Squared. I start the Mysore track of my life here. It's a good life. I make friends. I really really learn Primary Series. I memorize the series. I get pose after pose after pose until I've 'learned' the whole thing. But it's funny. Just because you 'have' the poses, doesn't mean you're 'doing' them right. I still am learning. I am still 'working' the asanas. I'm still learning the energetics of the asanas. I am learning the transitions in and out of asanas. It's always changing.

I have developed relationships with teachers here. Thank g-d for that. If I hadn't, then I would probably still be going to led classes once a week and I would not be the same person I am today. I am learning that although a 'teacher' will teach me 'yoga,' I am my best teacher. I know when I need rest. Or that I've gone too far. Or that I need to encourage myself to work harder. I'm not saying that I know asana enough to not have a teacher. I do know that listening to myself is something I've learned during my time here in Philadelphia. I'm trusting that I know what's best for me now. I'm listening to the teacher within.

practice.

I think about practice a lot. The practice of yoga. The practice of life. The practice of love.

While the baby napped today at work, I practiced full primary. I placed my bosses mat in the kitchen and I practiced. There was no teacher, except for the internal manifestations of past & current teachers. There was no incense or special lighting. There were no yoga friends, except for the friends I carry in my heart. I was in a kitchen, the floor covered in crumbs and I practiced yoga.

Breath was steady. Mind was steady. Body a little tight. Savasana so good.

A great thing about yoga is that you can literally drop your mat, almost anywhere, and practice. It's a matter of making time for it. It's a matter of eating and drinking properly. It's a matter of getting proper rest. I love that yoga is something I can do at home while Asher does his homework and our dogs are running around like crazy beasts. I love that I have a job that allows me to do yoga while a baby sleeps. I love that I can go to mysore in the morning or even in the evening. I love that I could go to a vinyasa class mid-day. I love that I could practice in a hotel room. Or in my backyard (if I had one). I could practice in an airport (maybe not).

My facebook status from earlier:

'yoga practice is yoga practice despite where you lay your mat, despite the teacher that may or may not be there, despite the time of day, despite the "style" in which you practice. (today was: mysore style @ work in the kitchen, used the boss ladies mat from 130-3pm, me myself and i).'

I have a friend who has a tattoo that says "fun is fun is fun" and it's in a circle and essentially the circle keeps going and going...

I like to sometimes think of Yoga like that. Yoga is yoga is yoga.

I'm tired. goodnight.

looking forward while dropping back.

My fabulous friend and teacher, Jill, has a workshop called "Looking forward while dropping back." Adam and I went to it in January 2009. It is now a year later and today, February 2nd, 2010, I dropped back 3 times and stood up from each one of them. That is the first time I've been able to stand up from all 3. This is a milestone that needs to be marked in the record books.

When I first started practicing Ashtanga, I never thought about drop backs. Not until teachers started encouraging me to do them. For a long time, I was scared. I thought I would hurt myself. I wasn't confident. I also wasn't strong enough. My spine was stiffer. I never dropped back unless a teacher was standing with me and it took me a long time to do even one solo.

After some solid hard work and practice, I can honestly say that I am stronger, my confidence is up, I'm not scared. I haven't had a mysore practice in forever, so today was the first time I've dropped back in quite some time. It felt completely natural. I just dropped back and I sloppily stood up. ALONE. No assistance. Wow. I looked at my teacher and said very quietly, 'that was fun.' Then I did it again two more times. Each time, easier than the last.

My whole world has changed.

I'd like to thank Jill for planting some awesome drop back seeds a year ago and for her encouragement along this path. I'd like to thank Karen for being my first mysore teacher and for helping me realize where my hands should go when they meet floor. I'd like to thank David Keil for teaching me about keeping my arms straight when dropping back, among many other things. I'd like to thank N.W. for just watching me today and witnessing it. I'd like to thank myself for sticking with this practice.

That is all. This is magical.

things are changing.

Life doesn't always pan out as we plan it to.. Things change and that's a good thing. For fucking sure!

I'm in the process of switching jobs. Going from nanny (poopy diapers) to waitressing (shitty customers? haha. only 1/2 the time..) I'll be waiting tables at Dmitri's in Northern Libs, which is a rock throws distance away from my apt. (My bike is actually always parked in front of D's, so if you don't see my bike, it means I'm out and about!)

The family I work for knows that I'm leaving them eventually. We didn't pick a date, but I did tell them that I will need to cut back to part time when I start to hustle people for tips by giving them plates of octopus and hummus. The family I work for is expecting a 2nd child in mid-February. The mom will be staying home full time, so I know they will be ok when I tell them that I am ready to go for good. For now, I will stay part time and see them through the transition into full on parenthood. (1 kid is a breeze, 2 seems like hell in a handbasket!)

I'm about half-way through teacher training at WakeUp yoga. That's a doozie. If you think that a 250-hour certification is easy, well think again! It's massively time consuming, but fabulously fun. I'm making the greatest friends and learning the art and science of teaching asana, among other things. My practice has been half vinyasa, half ashtanga (the ashtanga half is more like a quarter, but let's pretend, for my sake that it's half and half).

We finish the program at the end of April and I can't say that I'm not excited for the end. I'm excited to get my weekends back, but i'll be a little sad when I have no more workshops or weekends of intensive yoga stuff to do...

Jill comes in April for a week long Early Morning Retreat Week. 5 days of early morning Jill!! I signed up, but need to hand in my money in order to be on the list. You know I'll be doing that ASAP to secure a spot.

I'm excited to start the journey at Dmitri's. I'm looking forward to reclaiming my early morning yoga practices. I'm stoked to have my days free to leisurely drink tea and make food and eat well and just be all around free to do whatever it is I want to do.

I went to Tina's Ayurvedic workshop on Saturday for TT. That was fabulous. I tried to write a blog about just that earlier, but the words were just not there. She's extremely smart and funny. I had a blast. I learned that i'm a Vata-Pitta Dosha. (look up Vata Dosha and tell me that doesn't describe me to a T!) ha. I'm fascinated by the Ayurvedic lifestyle. I am taking it all in and incorporating what I can (daily rituals: dry brush and oil, tongue scraper. eating largest meal of the day around 12. getting to bed by 10.. when i'm not working. having my bed be forsex and sleep.. using the 6 tastes ..sweet. salty. sour. pungent. bitter. astringent.. in as many meals as possible..)

Anyway, lots going on. lots changing. I feel like I'm growing up.

practice.

haven't practiced since tina's class on monday night. i feel horrible. tomorrow i am back on the mat.. not sure of the location (home, y2, other) or even what style (led, mysore, vinyasa, flopping around like a sick fish...)

i need the practice. i need some stability. practice is not steady right now. mind is not steady.

oh the trials and tribulations of my life.

a homeless man once said...

On Saturday, in between practicing yoga at Wakeup and working on my yoga class plan, I went to La Colombe with Asher and Morgan. It was a warm winter day, so we decided to sit in Rittenhouse park while drinking our caffeinated beverages. Asher told me that I had hot sauce on my face, so I proceeded to lick my fingers and wipe it off. A homeless man across the way from us, jumped into our conversation and told me how to deal with my "spots." (aka acne). He told me to use Noxzema as a face wash and then to put alcohol with water into the sink and to rub the alcohol rinse onto my face. I just sat there smirking and he told me not to laugh. (I wasn't). He said he knows about good skin and he's 48 and he knows. Anyway, the point of this story is that I bought Noxzema tonight.. I think i'll try it out.. but not the alcohol bath.

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