Wednesday, February 24, 2010

keepin up with the jonesie jones.

Practice this week:

Sunday: Led Primary
Monday: Wakeup Vinyasa
Tuesday: day off
Wednesday: Mysore
Thursday: (most likely home practice?)
Friday: depends on weather
Saturday: Wakeup Vinyasa

I almost didn't practice today. Life is hectic these days. My bosses had their new baby a week ago. Everything is changing. Their older son is starting to freak out. I'm starting to lose it also. I slept in yesterday and I needed to recharge. So that was good. I would've practiced at night, but instead met up with my old boss from California. Anyway, so I practiced today. I went to SYS.. I walked there because I left my bike in Center City yesterday (it was too rainy to ride home at night). I was the 2nd student there. It was a small, intimate group today. I had 2.5 drinks last night, so practice was a little rocky today. I still practiced and that's the most important thing. I needed it.

This is the thought of the day: Practice is good, even when it's 'bad.'

I'm always happy when I get to spend some quality time with myself on the mat.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

next tattoo...

will be a tugboat. not necessarily this tugboat, but something similar. a friend of mine in TT wants to get her first tattoo after TT is finished and I want to get something new. (we will go together!) it's been almost a year since the lighthouse.. need to start brainstorming.. lovelove.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

tapping into your own power.

Sundays are fundays. (right?!)

Sundays are Led primary days. (for me at least)

Sundays are the days I challenge myself and learn so much, especially when I'm on the mat. (Oh hells yeah)

Today I went to Led Primary at SYS. Teacher leads a steady, solid count. It's a challenging class, but that's what I like about it. I push my edges.

Sometimes, as a human being, I do not always know my own strength. I assume that other people may have this problem as well. But I will speak from my own perspective. In terms of yoga, there are asanas that have taken me a long time to physically understand. Even though I can practice the asana, with less effort and more ease, I still am tapping into my own power. Sometimes it takes a teacher teaching you something new in order to tap into yourself. Sometimes it takes self exploration. Sometimes it just takes time. Maybe it takes all of these things. Not maybe, it does take time, self exploration and some time with a teacher that teaches in a way that works for you. (verbal, hands-on, visual, etc.)

I found myself wanting to push my edges today. No one told me to do it, just me. The teacher within me wanted more. I wanted to see what else this body of mine could do.

During the vinyasas in between sides and poses, I decided to see if I could jump back and jump through with more fluidity. I tapped into this power source within myself and had a totally new experience.

I didn't realize my own strength. I feel like for quite sometime I was probably just floating right along in a sea of yogis. I was putting in the effort, but maybe I was phoning it in a little. Today, it was 110% effort all the way. The bar was set and I kept wanting to meet the bar. Actually, I think I wanted to climb up and over the bar, over and over again.

Anyway, maybe I'm talking nonsense. Maybe i'm high from this new bodily experience of tapping into my power source. Maybe I'm tired. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'll float along in the sea of yogis again for a while. Maybe I won't.

Maybe it's time for bed. Night.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

nice things.

after TT today, i went out for a beer at the pope with a fellow TT bud. afterwards, on my walk to my car, i stopped by nice things handmade. i bought this marsuka doll necklace. the owner's name is elissa. she was warm-hearted and funny. i highly suggest you go check it out. their website isn't so great, but don't pre-judge. go down to east passyunk ave and check out nice things handmade. trust me.

Friday, February 19, 2010

got me some lil' bangs..

i have a wedding in a week. needed a haircut. went to my go to guy, anthony at american mortals. as i was about to leave, i said to him, "what do yo think about bangs?" so i sat back down in the chair and we cut me some lil' bangs. he told me i could come back and get some more bangs if i liked these bangs.

oh, the bangs make me feel like i whole new woman.

the end.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

flashback memories.

the other day, in a sweet sweet savasana, i had memories of my grandmother who passed away in november 2008. seems like such a long time ago. i also had similar memories of my trip to black rock city for burning man in 2006. now that was forever ago.

sometimes i forget about the crazy adventures i've had...

being on the mat, laying there, resting in savasana, it allows me to deeply relax and whenever a memory comes up like my grandmother or burning man or the time i spent working in yosemite, california... i cherish them.

it seems like my mind stores these memories away and i don't think about them for long periods of time... but then, something will trigger a memory and it lingers for days.

i wonder if anyone else experiences this? or is their experience more like sleep, and they checkout in savasana. or maybe their mind is restless and racing.

i like having these memories. i also like checking out in savasana. the restless and racing mind is never good in what i like to call "savsies" (short for savasana). i tend to have a restless mind before bed sometimes.. maybe i need to start practicing "savasana" in bed to relax.

ok. well that's the thought of the day.

anyone else have interesting experiences in savasana? or on the mat in general?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

i'm still standing, yeah yeah yeah.

asher is listening to elton john and i'm researching dropbacks.

i'm researching dropbacks in my practice and on youtube. (fun to watch... fun to do.)

today in my dropback research, i realized that you drop back, you stand up. that is it. no need to stay on the floor for a long period of time. just come back up. drop back, stand up. drop back, stand up. the times when i can't stand up are the times where i make a fuss of standing up. anyway.

drop back, stand up.

ok goodnight.

Monday, February 15, 2010

when pixel was smaller and the weather was warmer.

something to lift your spirits, (or maybe just mine?) come on spring!

what's new? what's steady?

This winter has put a damper on my spirits. I haven't really wanted to leave the house in the morning for practice or for work... (who really wants to go to work anyway?) I remember last winter... I used to get up with excitement for practice. Maybe it's because it was new. I think it was also steady? hmmm. I was practicing 5-6 days a week. Anyway, that is the past. This is a new year. New apartment. New location. I made an effort to bike throughout the winter, except for a week after the blizzard in Dec. and a few days here and there that had a horrific wind chill. I haven't biked now since the snow storm two weeks ago. My bike is encased in snow. I also haven't driven either. I'm not much for inclement weather. I've been walking (feels really safe) and taking the train (feels really comfortable and mostly safe.) This walking and train taking has put a damper on my practice schedule. It's hard to get to Wakeup yoga without my car. I have made a trip to South Philly via train for Biz's class. I will probably do that again. For the mysore portion of my life, I've been walking. Wow. Yeah. I walk to yoga. I never thought that would be possible. Last year, in West Philly, before I started to bike, I took the bus to yoga in the morning and would drive on Sundays. Now, living in Northern Liberties, I'm a hop, skip and a jump away from many yoga shalas (Dhyana-Old City, Shanti Yoga Shala-Old City, Y2-Center City, etc.). Some locations are within walking distance, some are better off with a bike, some great via the EL ( but not when having to wait outside in the dark, scary cold for it...)

Anyway, I've been walking to SYS. It's 0.8 of a mile away. It takes me 15-17 minutes depending on my strut. On Sundays, I use an ipod. For early morning practices, I just listen to the quiet city. I haven't made it to many early morning practices via "the walk". I'm looking forward to hopping back on my bike in another week or so. I need more of the snow to melt and I'll feel better about riding. There's still a ton of ice. My practice is not steady at this point in my life. I don't have a consistent schedule and it's been super hard to practice at home, (even with the heat on, we have a major draft where I practice and it's pretty brutal to be on the mat.)

What i'm trying to say is.. nothing is new. nothing is steady. I'm sitting with this. I will have a new job soon and my schedule will change again. I'm hoping for some steadiness in my life soon. (probably after Teacher Training is over.) That seems so far away...

Friday, February 12, 2010

february 2009 vs 2010.

february 2009. the night i got the infinity bird tattoo. (valentine's weekend)
february 2010, (few days before valentine's day)

i don't know why i am so fascinated by my hair length. but i am. it hasn't been this long since 2002? that's a long time ago. i should find some old photos and scan them in. those would be a hoot.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

snow day.

today, I hibernated.
tomorrow, I work.
saturday yoga? work mtg. play?
sunday yoga! play. play. play.

the end.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


oh it's snowing hard!
the ground is fluffy and white,
let's make snow angels.

dear jill:
safe journey back home
loved following your travels
pizza is waiting.

no one cares about
the leg behind your head, we
do it anyway.

so i don't lose my mind.

i'm walking to SYS this morning for mysore. i don't want anymore snow. i miss riding my bike to yoga and work. oh welll. this too shall pass.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

asher. ashtanga?

After months and months and years? of talking about Ashtanga Yoga.. I think I finally infiltrated the boytoy's mind. He said he wants to try Ashtanga Yoga. I will teach him at home and then maybe bring him to a local Shala to check out some teachers.

love practice. practice love.

walking to-and-fro.

Because of 'Snowmaggedon', I wasn't sure which yoga studios would be opened or closed today. Wakeup Yoga was open. Dhyana and Y2 closed for the morning. Shanti Yoga Shala Open. Those are my options. Well. My bike is encased in snow, yet again. So is my car. With the roads still slushy and snowy, I don't trust myself on a bike or in a car. So I decided my best option was to walk. Shanti Yoga Shala (SYS from now on) is .8 of a mile away from me. I woke up at 8 and checked to see if they were still having Led Primary. They were.

So I bundled up. Put Radiohead on my ipod and made the short journey over to Olde City. I left my apt at 9:03am and arrived at SYS at 9:20am (too early!) I went to Cafe Ole and sipped on some tea to warm up my insides before practice.

Today was the hardest practice I've had in a long time. I mean, I felt pain. Tapas was the name of the game. Internal heat, fire me up. Ah.

It was a good practice, none-the-less.

I stayed for question and answer time with NW.

Re-bundled up. Walked home. and now I'm sipping coffee and eating breakfast with Asher.

What a good morning!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010


So. It's snowing. A LOT! I haven't even taken Sage out for a walk yet because it requires so much and I am just not ready for that commitment (soon soon though..)

Being snowed in can be fun. It can also get me thinking about things that are beyond my reach. Like.. I wish I could walk to Rittenhouse and get some coffee and sit around other human beings. Or... I wish I was close enough to Wakeup Fairmount so that I could practice with guest star teacher Biz. But, alas, I am in Northern Liberties. The closest place I could walk to for fun would be some over priced boutiques and a tattoo shop or beer store. Hmmm. I'm already stocked up on beer.

Anyway, Being snowed in makes me think about things. Like for instance.. yoga. Haha. Obviously. I have an interview of Norman Allen book marked on my favorite links. He fascinates me beyond words. If you've seen the movie, Enlighten UP!, then you will know who I'm talking about. So. I want to go to Hawaii and find Norman Allen. I want to drink his organic coffee and practice yoga with him. Ha. Ok. That's the first thought of the morning.
I'm also in the mood to redecorate my apartment. I'm thinking a lot about the color yellow and the color grey. Together. Fabulous.

What else is floating around my head right now.. Oh. TT was cancelled for the weekend. We were supposed to have Sanskrit Level 1 with Manorama.

I've been thinking about THE practice of yoga. I'm thinking about how the subtle details come so slowly and that sometimes you forget where you started. Let me paint you a picture. I stumbled across Ashtanga yoga by accident. I was experimenting with all kinds of yoga when I lived in Huntington Beach, CA and was doing a work study at Yoga Works. I had tried every kind of yoga they had to offer, but I saved Ashtanga for last. I knew deep down that something magical would happen (maybe? or maybe I was scared.) Anyway. My first practice was a led class. I knew not what was happening, but I did it anyway. No one told me not to. I looked at people to figure out what the hell was happening, but I had fun. I wore a tshirt and some yoga pants that I got at a goodwill. My tshirt was sopping wet and saggy by the end of class. I couldn't do most of the asana, but I tried all of them anyway. Again, I had no one telling me not to do this. I didn't develop a relationship with any teachers during this period of my life. I went to Saturday and Sunday led classes (two different teachers) and that was that. I didn't know what mysore was. I was totally lost.

Cut to Philadelphia. I'm looking for Ashtanga and I find Yoga Squared. I start the Mysore track of my life here. It's a good life. I make friends. I really really learn Primary Series. I memorize the series. I get pose after pose after pose until I've 'learned' the whole thing. But it's funny. Just because you 'have' the poses, doesn't mean you're 'doing' them right. I still am learning. I am still 'working' the asanas. I'm still learning the energetics of the asanas. I am learning the transitions in and out of asanas. It's always changing.

I have developed relationships with teachers here. Thank g-d for that. If I hadn't, then I would probably still be going to led classes once a week and I would not be the same person I am today. I am learning that although a 'teacher' will teach me 'yoga,' I am my best teacher. I know when I need rest. Or that I've gone too far. Or that I need to encourage myself to work harder. I'm not saying that I know asana enough to not have a teacher. I do know that listening to myself is something I've learned during my time here in Philadelphia. I'm trusting that I know what's best for me now. I'm listening to the teacher within.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I think about practice a lot. The practice of yoga. The practice of life. The practice of love.

While the baby napped today at work, I practiced full primary. I placed my bosses mat in the kitchen and I practiced. There was no teacher, except for the internal manifestations of past & current teachers. There was no incense or special lighting. There were no yoga friends, except for the friends I carry in my heart. I was in a kitchen, the floor covered in crumbs and I practiced yoga.

Breath was steady. Mind was steady. Body a little tight. Savasana so good.

A great thing about yoga is that you can literally drop your mat, almost anywhere, and practice. It's a matter of making time for it. It's a matter of eating and drinking properly. It's a matter of getting proper rest. I love that yoga is something I can do at home while Asher does his homework and our dogs are running around like crazy beasts. I love that I have a job that allows me to do yoga while a baby sleeps. I love that I can go to mysore in the morning or even in the evening. I love that I could go to a vinyasa class mid-day. I love that I could practice in a hotel room. Or in my backyard (if I had one). I could practice in an airport (maybe not).

My facebook status from earlier:

'yoga practice is yoga practice despite where you lay your mat, despite the teacher that may or may not be there, despite the time of day, despite the "style" in which you practice. (today was: mysore style @ work in the kitchen, used the boss ladies mat from 130-3pm, me myself and i).'

I have a friend who has a tattoo that says "fun is fun is fun" and it's in a circle and essentially the circle keeps going and going...

I like to sometimes think of Yoga like that. Yoga is yoga is yoga.

I'm tired. goodnight.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

looking forward while dropping back.

My fabulous friend and teacher, Jill, has a workshop called "Looking forward while dropping back." Adam and I went to it in January 2009. It is now a year later and today, February 2nd, 2010, I dropped back 3 times and stood up from each one of them. That is the first time I've been able to stand up from all 3. This is a milestone that needs to be marked in the record books.

When I first started practicing Ashtanga, I never thought about drop backs. Not until teachers started encouraging me to do them. For a long time, I was scared. I thought I would hurt myself. I wasn't confident. I also wasn't strong enough. My spine was stiffer. I never dropped back unless a teacher was standing with me and it took me a long time to do even one solo.

After some solid hard work and practice, I can honestly say that I am stronger, my confidence is up, I'm not scared. I haven't had a mysore practice in forever, so today was the first time I've dropped back in quite some time. It felt completely natural. I just dropped back and I sloppily stood up. ALONE. No assistance. Wow. I looked at my teacher and said very quietly, 'that was fun.' Then I did it again two more times. Each time, easier than the last.

My whole world has changed.

I'd like to thank Jill for planting some awesome drop back seeds a year ago and for her encouragement along this path. I'd like to thank Karen for being my first mysore teacher and for helping me realize where my hands should go when they meet floor. I'd like to thank David Keil for teaching me about keeping my arms straight when dropping back, among many other things. I'd like to thank N.W. for just watching me today and witnessing it. I'd like to thank myself for sticking with this practice.

That is all. This is magical.