cozy up to yourself/ the primary series.

 to get into ubhaya padangusthasana! (roll up and into it...?)
the pose: ubhaya padangusthasana! (both big toe pose!?)
to get into urdhva mukha paschimottanasana! (roll up and into it!)
the pose: urdhva mukha paschimottanasana!  (upward facing forward fold pose!)

cozy up folks... a week's worth of work to maybe get into these suckers gracefully. we shall see.

do your practice. all is coming. seriously. all.

BEST HUCK PHOTO EVER!

huckabee during his photoshoot in a empty door handle-hole. taken by elissa. probably held by haley. so darn cute! he looks so raccoon-like.... he's actually pretty large aka fat! he could pass for a raccoon any day of the week!

i fought the law and the law won! or...

i fought the mat and the mat won.

i went to practice today. first day back in probably about a week and a half. i got there at 6:15. did my sun salutations with a runny nose and decided i should probably get a tissue after my first B. i got through almost all the foundational asanas and then i felt insanely nauseous. i sat down. i don't know if it was the heat. (the studio was self heated... from the outside heat not even the internal heat. i was sweating after like 5 minutes of being inside.) or that i saw the lady next to me with a nose bleed. (nose bleeds make me feel light headed!) or if it was just the fact that i'm kinda sick, kinda tired and kinda just not used to being on the mat...

so i was sitting. and jill-ji comes over and tells me to finish the foundations and come back tomorrow. i barely got through the foundations. it took me a few minutes to realize what exactly the foundations even were. i felt kind of like i was in a daze. wow. 

i'm glad i went to practice. i'm glad i did what i could. i'm glad i have good teachers who understand what it's like to go through what you go through on the mat.

i guess we will see what tomorrow has in store!

the end of an era.

or what seems like an era. 

my wart has finally healed itself and removed itself from my body. yay! this all happened back in oct/nov when i got a little piece of glass in my foot and tried to remove it with a steak knife and a pocket knife. not a good idea! i learned my lesson.

now there is a crater of space in my heal with fresh pink alive skin. no callous. no wart. it's magical.

i'm happy. but also extra paranoid about getting warts now. so i guess i'll be extra careful from now on. 

i feel like i have nothing exciting going on to blog about. iowa was a good time. lots of down time. lots of eating. i feel like i gained at least 5 pounds on this trip, all of which went to my face and lovehandles. oh well. with a few weeks of practice and some better eating habits, i should be back to normal. i missed practicing. i even brought a mat with me. which i threw away on the way home because it was taking up space (don't worry, it was old and a manduka which will biodegrade in the landfill.) if there would have been a place to practice astanga i know that i would've gone and explored and practiced. but there wasn't and i didn't want to waste money or time on some crazy vinyasa yoga in iowa that i probably wouldn't have liked. anyway, i didn't make it to practice today. i woke up at 6am. and then decided sleep was needed because i didn't sleep well all week in iowa and i was also sick... so i slept in because i didn't have to be at work til 10:30. so that's what i did.

i'm practicing with jill-ji as my teacher on tuesday, wednesday, thursday. and maybe i'll try and get to a saturday morning wakeup class before i hang out with my aunt ellen who is coming in for her husbands med school reunion.

that's all for now.

also, my bosses finally saw my tattoos and they didn't care. so that's good also.

bad lady.

didn't practice for a week. didn't eat well. got sick. didn't take photos. 

but had a lot of fun.

now back to work and practice. and life. 

made it to iowa.

this is me at my worst. i'm wearing my new cycling hat.. (it was asher's, but now mine. i'm buying him a new one!) i'm a greasy spoon. i'm a stinky skunk. we drove all night. left at 5pm on friday, got to des moines by 10:30am today (saturday!) asher's brother drove almost all night and without him i think asher and i would still be in ohio or something! hahaha. we're visiting asher's grandma glee at mercy hospital. we are all on our computers watching susan boyle sing. fun! well, more updates later. love love love from never never land.

haven't felt much like blogging..

practice practice practice. work work work. huck huck huck. sage sage sage. etc etc etc.

sometimes, i feel like i'm on a wash, rinse, then repeat cycle. oh the beauty of life.

i was walking home from the bus stop today and everything was still and quiet. i felt like i had all the secrets to the universe and they are all inside of me. it's a special feeling.

an oldie but goodie.

sage practiced the yoga with me in huntington beach. oh those were the days!

---

also boytoy just told me that we're living in a slum. no hot water for days. who does this landlord/slumlord think he is!!!

---

going to iowa on friday for a while... will take photos of the trip. 

huck alert.

huckabee has been extra cuddly recently. crawling up on the bed and just curling into a little ball. he is so amazing. i miss him.. oh baltimore.. seder was outta control last night. tonight should be even crazier. let the good times roll.

i won the afikomen. 18 dollars to target!

let's hope for tonight, a double-afikomen header!

"shhh" -eileen myles (my favorite poem)

I don't think

I can't afford the time to not sit right down &

write a poem about the heavy lidded

white rose I hold in my hand

I think of snow

a winter night in Boston, drunken waitress

stumble on a bus that careens through

Somerville the end of the line

where I was born, an old man

shaking me. He could've been my dad

You need a ride? Wait, he said.

This flower is so heavy in my hand.

He drove me home in his old blue

Dodge, a thermos next to me

cigarette packs on the dash

so quiet like Boston is quiet

Boston in the snow. It's New York

plates are clattering on St. Mark's

Place. Should I call you?

Can I go home now

& work with this undelivered

message in my fingertips

It's Summer.

I love you.

I'm surrounded by snow.

parenthood: tastes like coffee.

i'm tired. i drank way too much coffee today. i think parenthood tastes like coffee and i'm not sure if i like it. which is fine. because i'm not having kids anytime soon. maybe in the early 30's. in the mean time, off to bed. the yogasana is intense. i'm super sore in the ribcage and abdomen area. jill-ji's vigorous vinyasa on saturday was so fun and i feel like i got to stretch and move in ways that i don't normally get to during my weekly mysore practice.

i decided that sunday-thursday is mysore at yogasquared.

fridays are off.

saturdays are for jill's class at wakeup.

that's how it's gonna be until the jill-ji moves away! :(   

then i will find a new saturday fun class. 

ok, well, this is super lame. passover this week in baltimore. i'll take photos of the babus chaos so you can see why i left the place. haha. xo

clearing the chatter...

i do yoga to calm my chatter. (i'm a chatterbox trying to get rid of the chatter.)

yoga (the physical and the breathing) help me to calm my mind and obviously i don't talk during class so it gives me time to quiet my mouth. i try not to talk much before class, but today, at wake up, i saw some familiar faces and said a few hellos and had a nice, short chat with the fellow yogi next to me.

jill-ji talked about clearing the chatter before the class. her words resonated with me. i can't quote one thing she said but it was all meaningful. 

----

(a few hours later, cut to me and asher at the eastern state penitentiary...) the prisoner's in insolation. no talking. 23 hours a day alone. apparently, the isolation and solitude was for the prisoner's to contemplate their wrongdoings and to connect to god. lots of folks thought this was the way to go about it. quiet time for the sinners.  the sinners would be reformed through this system. this was thought to work. but there was no proof in this. many of the prisoner's were released into society and who knows if they functioned like the "good folks." who knows. many people believed this system not to work. charles dickens was firmly against the isolation of prisoner's, he believed it would cause them to go insane. 

after thinking about the solitude and isolation, i feel that i would probably go insane if i were left to my mind and a cell block 23 hours a day. i'm sure i would fantasize about many things, but i would probably get depressed about being alone. i love human contact. connection. conversations. 

don't get me wrong. i like quiet. i especially like quietness in yoga. in the studio. within my mind. within the walls of the shala. but i've decided i'm not all about isolation. i like community. i like people. i would never survive alone on a deserted island. or penitentiary. 

so i guess i better be good and not get arrested anytime soon. ahh what the hell am i talking about now.

my brain is just trying to make this connection between us folks on the outside of the walls of the penitentiary and the folks on the inside. how we strive to be quiet during "yoga" or "meditation" or other activities... but how the prisoner's were forced into solitude and probably were insanely miserable and lonely and how they probably yearned for human connection.

is there a balance between these two extremes? the solitude and the chatter? i definitely think so. i'll leave this jumbled mess of thoughts for later. now it's time to go see a movie with the boytoy. quiet time in the movie theatre holding hands with your boyfriend.. i think that's a first step.. :)

local news: beast meets beasts.

huckabee trying to back it up and outta there!
group photo. the beast (pig) stares lovingly at beast (huck) while beast (adam) loves all beings.

blissed out.

i left the shala this morning feeling insanely blissed out. maybe it's the backbending. maybe it's the fact that i got to shower after practice. maybe it's the fact that it was 50 degrees this morning and i wore shorts and legwarmers and no pants over them on the way to practice.

spring is coming. i see it. i feel it. i hear it. the sun...the birds. it's all coming.

today was my 5th day of practice. unlike last week, which was 2 measly days.. but it is what it is. right? 

tomorrow, i'll take off, then on saturday i'm planning on going to jill-ji's vinyasa class at wakeup. i gotta get my jill-ji fix before she heads out to who knows where!.. and before i head out to.... 

i feel my body getting stronger. it feels good. it feels really damn good. it makes me want to go to practice all the time. stronger. faster. harder. kanye anyone? 

um, like i said. i'm blissed out/ like a hippy on a shamanic high in peru. or something like that. without the shaman and without the "medicinals." :)