Saturday, April 4, 2009

clearing the chatter...

i do yoga to calm my chatter. (i'm a chatterbox trying to get rid of the chatter.)

yoga (the physical and the breathing) help me to calm my mind and obviously i don't talk during class so it gives me time to quiet my mouth. i try not to talk much before class, but today, at wake up, i saw some familiar faces and said a few hellos and had a nice, short chat with the fellow yogi next to me.

jill-ji talked about clearing the chatter before the class. her words resonated with me. i can't quote one thing she said but it was all meaningful. 

(a few hours later, cut to me and asher at the eastern state penitentiary...) the prisoner's in insolation. no talking. 23 hours a day alone. apparently, the isolation and solitude was for the prisoner's to contemplate their wrongdoings and to connect to god. lots of folks thought this was the way to go about it. quiet time for the sinners.  the sinners would be reformed through this system. this was thought to work. but there was no proof in this. many of the prisoner's were released into society and who knows if they functioned like the "good folks." who knows. many people believed this system not to work. charles dickens was firmly against the isolation of prisoner's, he believed it would cause them to go insane. 

after thinking about the solitude and isolation, i feel that i would probably go insane if i were left to my mind and a cell block 23 hours a day. i'm sure i would fantasize about many things, but i would probably get depressed about being alone. i love human contact. connection. conversations. 

don't get me wrong. i like quiet. i especially like quietness in yoga. in the studio. within my mind. within the walls of the shala. but i've decided i'm not all about isolation. i like community. i like people. i would never survive alone on a deserted island. or penitentiary. 

so i guess i better be good and not get arrested anytime soon. ahh what the hell am i talking about now.

my brain is just trying to make this connection between us folks on the outside of the walls of the penitentiary and the folks on the inside. how we strive to be quiet during "yoga" or "meditation" or other activities... but how the prisoner's were forced into solitude and probably were insanely miserable and lonely and how they probably yearned for human connection.

is there a balance between these two extremes? the solitude and the chatter? i definitely think so. i'll leave this jumbled mess of thoughts for later. now it's time to go see a movie with the boytoy. quiet time in the movie theatre holding hands with your boyfriend.. i think that's a first step.. :)


Brian said...

If you have troubles sleeping you should consider getting help for eating disorders programs with care and compassion.

Dallas said...

When our practice got started we needed non 12 step rehab centers help. These were the guys we turned to and they did a great job.