clutter is the symptom, hoarding is the disease.

my sister and i are watching a show on people who hoard. it's seriously intense.

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although i've been living on my own now for a few years, i still have some of my belongings at my parents house. mostly old art and photography stuff. stuff that i can't really lugg around from apartment to apartment to city to city to city. ya know? i have most of it in tubs and some of it on shelves. i'd like to get rid of some of it, but i'm emotionally attached. so it stays for a while, in another 6 months i'm sure i'll be able to get rid of more. it's a slow process. i'm not a hoarder, but i do get these strange attachments to stuff from my past and i keep it for a while, then one day when i'm over it, i throw lots of things away.

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i have sooo many old journals. from middle school. highschool. college and beyond. some of them are majorly embarassing. but i can't get rid of them. i like to read them sometimes and see how much i've grown, changed and blossomed.

one of my journals is from when i roadtripped with my bff jp and then moved to california. this was 2006.

here are some quotes that i had written down in it that i enjoy:
-"i told my mom my own theory of why we like birds- of how birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may strive to attain." from douglas copland's, "life after god"

-"i have to remind myself that time only frightens me when i think of having to spend it alone. sometimes i scare myself with how many of my thoughts revolve around making me feel better about sleeping alone in a room." douglas copland, "life after god"

-life lessons from the road (these are from the road trip with jp): when you see it, do it. know that people can be cranky, it doesn't mean they don't love you. try new things, ie: oysters. stop for scenic views. sometimes it just rains. take 2 lane roads. sometimes it's nice to sleep alone. (there were many of these life lessons from the road, but these were my favs.)

stencils that were on Valencia Street in San Fran:
'i've waited my whole life for you.'
'you make my dreams come true.'
'your existence gives me hope.'
'i couldn't love you anymore than i already do.'
'you bring me to my knees.'
'your love is all i need.'

(i wonder who stenciled these quotes and who they were for. it's kinda cute/romantic.)


"in landlessness resides the highest truth." -moby dick

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i've been fascinated with birds and the ocean for years. this journal is 3 years old and most of it still holds true.